Between the end of last year and the beginning of this year I’ve kept myself busy trying lots of different recipes and cooking for my family. I tried my hands at starting sourdough bread for the first time, a Julia Child’s Coq-au-vin chicken recipe just for fun, and another pizza dough with my new sourdough starter. Thankfully, they all came out edible!
I also celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary with my husband Troy at a local restaurant. We had fun trying some fondue and being silly. Laughter is a big part of our relationship because it makes the very difficult times a lot easier to deal with.
I will share my sourdough recipe finds and a the pics I took as I read it from my phone:
The Julia Child recipe was a lot more work than I wanted, but in the end it was delicious. I might even make it again for a very special occasion, but it has to be very special!
It took me at least 30 minutes to just peal the boiler onions. I wanted to use the frozen kind, but they didn’t have them at the two places I looked for them, unfortunately. I’m sure the taste was better with the fresh ones though.
Next time, I will share more about my new doula services journey. So, stay tuned!
I’ll leave you with one of my favorite Bible verses:
“Jesus answered, It is written, man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” (Jesus quoted this in Matthew 4:4, originally from Deuteronomy 8:3)
One and a half years have passed since the last post and life is still moving along. Since getting hospitalized for Covid and starting our estate liquidation business just months before that, I have felt like I was losing ground. But, in actuality, God has been gaining more ground in my life. I will tell you more about it in the coming year. For now I am going to post a summary of my life in pictures to get you up to speed. Oh, how I’ve missed writing to you!
In July of 2022 we lost our dog, Ezra, of 10 years. It was very sad to say the least.
This was the view from the event center we stayed at.These are some of the items I got to work on while at the quilting retreat.Around the same time in the fall, we harvested a bounty of fruits and veggies. These carrots are just a small sample.
November found just Troy and I on our annual get-a-way. This time we went Steamboat Springs, CO. This is a picture from our day hike.
December found us celebrating Christmas with traditional Mexican tamales from scratch. My son-in-law, Shjon, to be was helping me. A Fire in the fireplace and Christmas music in the background completes the pic.
2023 began better than 2022, thankfully. Troy and I celebrated 25 years of marriage and our oldest daughter got married in January of 2023!
This is the most recent picture of my daughter and new son-in-love! They were married just 3 days before our 25th wedding anniversary in January.In late February I surprised my mom for her birthday and flew to California. I got to see her, my siblings and the ocean!This one of my favorite beaches to visit when I’m in southern California.Also in February, my two youngest daughters, who were in high school at the time of this event, participated in a great experience, TeenPact, in Denver, Colorado.To learn more about Teenpact just go to the website! I really recommend it for all teens.
March rolled around and I became a Grandma and a doula! I got to help bring my first grandchild into the world with Gwen and Shjon’s permission. This experience opened up a whole lot of opportunities for me to serve more families through TLC Squared‘s new doula services in 2024!
March/April Spring Planting Time
I just love that these come out every year in April, around Easter!
In May we celebrated Mother’s day for the first time with our oldest, Gwen as a mom, and we also celebrated Abigail’s high school graduation, our middle daughter. She didn’t actually finish all her college, dual-enrollment classes until December of this year, but it was more fun to let her celebrate in a special homeschool ceremony with her friends in May.
Abigail also participated in an amazing experience in Manitou Springs, Colorado called Summit Ministries (Summit.org). She asked me to put in a “plug” for them as it was “enlightening and fun”!
I had a business booth at the first annual Ken Caryl Ranch Senior Living Fair hosted by one of my friends, Kali Hepker (Homes) and another local sponsor.
Between May and September we were pretty busy with our estate liquidation business so I don’t have any pictures to share. But, I can share that I was glad for the summer work load to slow down as it allowed us to work in the garden and reap a harvest!
In the fall I got to harvest our tomatoes by making my favorite recipe of stewed tomatoes. I hope to share my process with you this coming year.
In September I went to a great conference called “Cause Camp” in Ohio to better prepare myself and my future ministry board to help run my non profit, TLC Squared. I also participated in a local doula training in my town of Littleton. I’m in the process of becoming a certified doula with DONA international (Doulas of North America). I hope to be fully accredited before the end of the year. In the meantime I am practicing being a doula in order to become certified and gain more experience and credibility. I don’t know exactly how I feel about it, but a certificate is not required by any state or federal authority as far as I can see. But, I would highly recommend it if you want to work with clients who have hospital births.
October took me back to California for another conference. This time it was for the ACBC (Association of Christian Biblical Counselors) annual conference which happened in Santa Clarita this year. I’m still on the journey to getting certified as a Christian counselor. No matter if I get certified this year or the next I am still planning on counseling women, especially moms, as a lay counselor/mentor on an as requested basis.
In November Troy and I went on our annual “marriage” retreat/get-away in Estes Park. We like to get away to review our year and write our annual Christmas letter that we send out to all our family and friends. It really helps us to also plan for the following year. We pray and discuss how to move forward and pivot in a new direction or stay the course in all areas of our family lives. We are getting close to becoming empty nesters. It’s hard to believe! We also celebrated Thanksgiving with Troy’s parents and our new son-in-love, grandson and oldest daughter. We are definitely switching seasons, like it or not, in our lives.
December allowed us to highlight Jesus in our lives as we celebrated Christmas with our family. I also got to work at the Samaritan’s Purse Operation Christmas Child Processing center in Centennial, Colorado for my fourth (or fifth) year, I have lost count. It’s always a joy to work there because I get to share the love of Christ to everyone that comes to volunteer to process shoeboxes that are donated and them handed to children all around the world.
Thanks for hanging on to the end of this longer than usual post. To read my end-of-year newsletter and learn more about what my non profit is doing go to www.tlcsquared.org. The site is still under some construction as I’m updating the doula services page.
I pray you have a safe and memorable New Year in 2024. Feel free to let me know if anything I share on this blog or TLC Squared is encouraging to you. It would bring me much joy!
Picture was taken in southern California by my niece #AngelicaMariePhotography
Last time I wrote to you our family’s lives were heavily affected by job losses and illness which turned out to be Covid. Seems like life isn’t letting our family off the hook again this year. In December of 2021 all our family got Covid. Everyone recovered fairly well, except for me. I ended up getting hospitalized for three days. I was diagnosed with acute hypoxia (Covid lungs) and had three more blood clots in my legs. The doctor told me that it would be a very long recovery and gave me very little hope. The funny thing was that the whole time I was in the hospital I felt so empowered and compelled to share the love of Christ through my weakness. Everyone I came in contact with, from the nurses to the cafeteria staff, heard of Jesus. They were all very open to hearing about Him, especially since they saw the dire situation I was in and probably felt sorry for me. How could someone who is so sick and possibly die of this dreaded illness be so positive? You will be hearing more about this next year in 2023.
After leaving the hospital I went home with a lot of questions. Am I going to make it? Why me? How much is this going to affect our family ministry and new business? It was a very emotionally and physically draining time for all our family to say the least. I had to be on oxygen for two months, only at night thankfully, and blood thinners for my clots for at least six months. I left the hospital with one diagnosis to only be led to hemorrhaging and facing more near-death experiences. The blood thinners they put me on to keep me from acute hypoxia caused me even more harm. I literally felt the life blood draining from me as I bled heavily for a month. Yet, after going to the ER four times, they would still not change my treatment.
Finally, I went to see an oncologist who put me on iron infusions for a month, two times a week. In the meantime, Troy was running our new business with very little help from me. He, our children and church family were really stepping up to the plate though. We were brought meals twice a week and visitors, notes and text were well received. Thank God for His Church! But it still put a lot of pressure on both of us. So much so that we sought out group marriage counseling to help process and begin healing from the last two years of drastic changes.
In the back of my mind, I just kept thinking, “How am I going to minister to other families if we are barely surviving?” While I was in the hospital, I was also put on very strong steroids. That gave me a lot of energy, but it also kept me from sleeping very much. For three days I felt like I was in a fiery furnace with Jesus, like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. I would not let Covid get me down! After wrestling with how to move forward with our ministry and doubting how to move forward with TLC Squared because of much self-doubt, I was finally moved to sign up for a “Do More Good” conference in May and to submit our 501c3 paperwork.
I had been afraid to do that for a while. But, through Covid, God inspired me to move forward and trust Him despite the current circumstances. If I was to live after this incident, then I felt I should at least take the next step of faith. On January 17th of this year, we reached our five-year anniversary of being a Colorado State nonprofit. And, to my surprise, in March of this year we received a letter of determination that read like this, “Dear Applicant, we’re pleased to tell you we determined you’re exempt from federal income tax under Internal Revenue Code (IRC) Section 501(c)(3).” I couldn’t believe it! God opened the door to our next phase. Now, it was up to Troy and I to receive it and trust that God still has a plan for us through this ministry. Now it’s a matter of continuing to trust God by faithfully following his leading and continuing to take baby steps to see the vision of TLC Squared through.
“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” (Hebrews 10:35-36, NIV)
The verse above and the verse below still ring true for me this year. What verse(s) speaks to you? How are you doing this year so far? I would love to know!
“Therefore, do not throw away your confidence (in Christ), which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised (a crown of Salvation), emphasis added” Hebrews 10:35-36
Want to help our family and ministry? Go to https://www.tlcsquared.org/ and give today towards growing our ministry to families, especially moms.
Recently had a baby or know someone who has? Go to https://www.tlcsquared.org/comh-home-care-kit.html and request one for you or a friend. Home Care Kits help raise awareness of Postpartum Depression and Anxiety and give hope to those facing those challenges.
“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” (Hebrews 10:35-36, NIV)
Happy to end 2021 and start 2022 with the last #missionofmotherhoodbookclub “A Mother’s Heart for Eternity, The Faithful Mother…Finishing the Journey with Endurance and Grace” by @sally.clarkson I just spent the last two weeks getting more mileage out of this physical body just trying to survive the big bad unmentionable bug. Yuck!
Now, let’s talk about how I will never know everything there is ever to know about motherhood, though I definitely attempt to learn from my poignant daily lessons. Sally is clear to point out that to have a mother’s heart is for ETERNITY.
That means I should give up? No! That means I should continue seeking the heart of my God for my children.
Starting this month, I will be posting simple prayers to help you and me stay focused on earnestly praying for the heart of our (my) children so they may seek God in all they do, despite how we are feeling. Because I sure didn’t feel like posting anything else for you all, but I’m “feeling” physically and emotionally better for the moment.
Royal Gorge Trip 2021 (It was our last family school trip for the season)
“Therefore, do not throw away your confidence (in Christ), which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised (a crown of Salvation), emphasis added” Hebrews 10:35-36
Recovering from Covid complications after a three day and night stay from January 2 to the 5th, 2022.
#COMHprayersForMychild2022 “I pray that they may ‘grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ'” 2 Peter 3:18
Since I posted last, I have been in the ER two more times due to complications from having Covid since the last two weeks of 2021. I ended the year with it and began the year with it…. but GOD!
I will be sharing more about my time in the hospital and ER visits after I reflect more on it on both this media outlet and TLC Squared Ministries. But I felt like this experience has catapulted me even further in to the next phase of my ministry to families, especially moms who are dealing with sudden illness and homeschooling. It’s a lot to do, but with support of church family, close friends and even the child you are praying for, it’s not impossible and even victorious and beautiful in the midst of the pain and mess of life.
I will continue to “do good” in the midst of my pain because that is what the Lord is the right thing to do. In the same way when you or I don’t feel like praying for our children because we don’t “feel” well emotionally or physically, as born-again Christians or not, we MUST fight for our children and family through prayer and not let our circumstances dictate the possibility that whatever we are going through WILL come to pass, everything does. BUT, you must reach out for help. Otherwise, you will try to do it all yourself and loose hope or possibly more.
I want to highlight two of my girls in these pictures to show how much they have been stepping up to the plate, literally.
They have been especially helpful because they have a little more experience cooking, cleaning and now driving. They’ve been little angels running errands and making meals even though they both work, one is full time and the middle one works for our estate sales business part time.
Took this picture from my new “recovery” spot in the living room and kitchen area.
Yup! I still get to be involved in working on the computer doing HR and office support for my husband and our team of awesome employees. If I don’t do that then we won’t be able to support the family for very long. No sale, no income. Sad truth, but God is in the midst of it and we’ll make it through somehow.
We were up and running our business as early as October of 2021. After my husband was laid off from a 20+ year job in engineering and consulting back in October of 2020 we finally decided to open up our own business. Read more about it here: https://www.bluemoonestatesales.com/sw-denver/meet-the-team.htmlOur new family business venture is not the only thing being revamped and up and running well this year. Our TLC Squared nonprofit is five years old today! Happy Anniversary TLC Squared Ministries! More about this in the very near future, but for now I’ll tell you we’re moving into phase two of the long-term plans. So, by year’s end we should be a Federally recognized 501(c)(3) nonprofit and part-time staff (me), Lord willing!!
My body might not be well, by my spirit is high thanks to my personal time with Jesus in the early morning AFTER I take my new medicine to keep my “Covid lung” clots and also the ones in my legs.
I’ll leave you with this verse I’ve been clinging to in this season of life:
“So, we must not get tired of ‘doing good’, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, we must work for the good of all, especially for those who belong to the household of faith.”Galatians 6:9-10
Moms, your prayers and your actions of true love towards your child will come to fruition IF you do not give up and ask for support. Keep sowing and as I said in the last post;
“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you read, but by the seeds you plant.” – Robert Louis Stephenson.
Where do I start? SO much has been going on in our family’s life. Just this weekend I hurt my back and had to be on bed rest for two whole days. That’s a lot of time considering there is a lot going on in our house. BUT, thankfully I am up and moving, however I can, ever so slow. My heart is bursting with so many emotions in a whirlwind of everyday circumstances and with the privilege of homeschooling our girls and owning a new business with my husband, the stress is not going away anytime real soon. If it wasn’t for my faith, my church family and their prayers and support I don’t know I how I would be getting through. I have had many defeating thoughts, but again, I praise God for enabling me through His Spirit to not give in to my fleshly desires because non of those desires would lead to giving God any glory. They would do the opposite. These are the confessions of my heart for today.
I imagine you have similar thoughts and desires. How do you deal with them? Need help?
To learn more about what TLC Squared is doing about helping families read more here: https://www.tlcsquared.org/ If you are looking for a local nonprofit that you would like to give to as “Colorado Gives Day” arrives tomorrow, we would be humbled to be considered to receive a gift of any amount. Would you consider TLC Squared?
January has come and gone, but the opportunity to create a ‘Life-giving’ home still remains.
In January of this year I started #TheLifeGivingHomeBookclub through my Confessions of a Mother’s Heart Facebook page. I started it to not only help others focus on what it means to have a life-giving home, but to actually help me get re-centered after a very long year of feeling ‘off’.
Last month I asked my viewers “What makes a home?”
Sally Clarkson says, “The essence of home, you see, is not necessarily a structure. What makes a home is the life shared there, wherever that may be.” (p. 8 of The Life Giving Home, Creating a Place of Belonging and Becoming book)
“This year I have really enjoyed my family more than normal. I’ve been feeling so much better, mentally and physically because I have been intentional about taking care of my body, through regular exercise (walking) and taking natural supplements that my body and mind really need. So, for me to make my home of place of ‘Belonging and Becoming’ in this season of our lives (teenagers and Perimenopause), I’ve had to make sure I feel well. Then, I can tend to my family’s basic and emotional needs. It makes for a healthier and happier home for sure, though not perfect.
Sharing life with my family is much more doable and even life-giving when I, as a parent, especially as the mom, am intentional in seeking to ‘be well’, overall and to make choices that positively effect the overall home atmosphere of my family.” (Taken from my Facebook post in January of 2020)
Now…Because I have been feeling better, I’ve also been able to do some fun things to make my home feel refreshed.
I repainted and reupholstered this table and chairs. I bought these 3 years ago at local thrift stores.
Life-giving and Refreshing with New Paint
I forgot to put my bandana on and protect my hair from paint…oops!Just before the new chalk (spray) paint was put on, from Home Depot.Old chair covers. I noticed that they had a “grey” look to them… pretty disgusting!Old chair color on the left.New paint and seat (cushion) cover.Never a dull moment with Glenda the 🐈!
I’m thankful to God for helping me figure out how to manage my most recent symptoms of Perimenopause. It is part of this phase in my life so I’m learning to embrace it instead of asking God to remove it.
My mind is more clear and my body… well, that is another blog post. But, as a result of my healthier mindset I’ve been able to also move forward and stay more focused on my nonprofit, TLC Squared.
Just this weekend my family and I were invited again, to be a part of a local missions ministry fair where we were able to tell our Church family more about what God is doing through the Home Care Kits and the Sewing classes I teach locally, to fund the ministry. Read more about them at http://www.TLCSquared.org!
My husband, Troy and I ❤️ next to our table.My girls and I ❤️
How can you have a ‘Life-giving’home in 2020? What do you struggle with, that if you overcame it, could make a positive change in your home?
I would love to know. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook @Confessions_of_a_Mothers_Heart to share your struggles and victories. Oops I almost forgot to tell you! I’ll be doing a Facebook live event every month! (Go to my Facebook page to see the full schedule… next one is on February 11th).
I hope to have a new post by February. But for now, I wanted to let you know about the Facebook live Bookclub that I’m hosting on my @ConfessionsOfaMothersHeart Facebook page.
If you received a “Home Care Kit” and were blessed by it, please consider paying it forward by making a love gift of $15 or more, which helps cover the cost of the kit before shipping and handling (when applicable).
I will be posting an end of year review before Christmas to let you know the plans for this sight and the TLC Squared Ministry.
Would you prayerfully consider Giving towards this ministry? TLC Squared endeavors to “Re-create Homes One Family at a Time by Sharing the Love Of Christ via Teaching, Loving and Connecting families”.
You can check out more details on our website: TLC Squared
Click above to read the 2019 goals, for now.
To recap the Home Care Kits info: We have given away more than 100 Home Care Kits for free, so we could use help to replenish the funds for 2020 and beyond.
Summer 2019: Gymnastics with Bethany and her older sister, Abigail.
Last time I wrote, it was technically Spring. Since then, summer has passed and we are quickly approaching a long, cold winter. It’s been six months since I last wrote, and a lot has happened. In this post, I will give you another quick rundown of what I’ve been up to (via pictures) and also, as I promised in my last post, share some of the struggles I overcame and some I’m (still) having to overcome, as the seasons of my life change.
In the last post I wrote, “We had to deal with getting sick just before we left. Once we arrived we had to recover from that and also jet lag and a myriad of other problems. One of them was having to deal with car problems.”
Summer 2019 Camping Trip: Never a dull moment!
Since April, my oldest daughter, Gwen, and I recovered from what was probably the flu, thankfully. Soon after though, I had to deal with what seemed like never ending car issues. To this day, I’ve had to replace my transmission, struts and a number of other small nuisances in my minivan. Thankfully, the transmission was still under the extended warranty!!
Car problems aside, the biggest struggle that I’m dealing with now is a little complicated, but not hopeless. When I had my last and third daughter, twelve years ago, I experienced severe anxiety and depression. So much so, that I prayed I wouldn’t get pregnant again if I was going to feel like I was out of control emotionally and physically, again. You can read more about it in my book, Confessions of a Mother’s Heart! (Buy my book and support my ministry!) Since then, I have recovered, thankfully with the help of my faith community, within a small group of women who gave me a lot of support.
I was 33 when I had my third girl, Bethany. I am now 45 and near the end of my menstrual life cycle. That means that I’m experiencing similar symptoms to preteen years or postpartum depression and anxiety. Either way I look at it, it’s quite difficult and comical. At times, I feel like I’m one of my three pre-teen/teen girls, going through identity crisis and mood swings when I least want to AND sometimes in the same window of time as my girls. My husband deserves the best husband and father award for having to live with us. But, he will survive through our season of change…I hope!
Since returning from Europe in April I definitely noticed something wasn’t right with me, physically and emotionally. I’m so relieved and happy to know why I was feeling “off” and am very grateful to be feeling much better. I did some research and confirmed with my doctor that I definitely am in the “Perimenopausal” stage of my life. To read an explanation of this phase just keep reading until the end or click no the above link. It’s very eye opening!
After the 4th of July I decided to do something about my new symptoms, and I went on a strict diet and exercise program to feel “normal” again. I have lost about 15 pounds (give or take a few, depending on the day) and am feeling relief from the majority of my symptoms. But, I’m not out of the woods yet.
During my diet’s “reduction” phase, this was one of my typical meals, along with Almased shakes. There is cheese under the veggies. Gotta have my cheese!
The main reason I haven’t been posting anything on my blog since returning from Europe in April is because I just couldn’t get myself in rhythm with my previously healthy mental and physical state. I’ve had the most times of doubt and fear in the last year, especially the last six months, since having my last baby, twelve years ago. I could barely get myself to post in small spurts throughout my other social media venues, like Facebook and Instagram. I was definitely experiencing many, if not all, the symptoms of “Perimenopausal depression”. Even though I couldn’t get it together enough to post more regularly, you can still see what I did manage to post, since April, on the above mentioned links.
Before I share some significant information I discovered, to close this blog post, I will tell you that I plan on writing one more post before the end of the year. I will be sharing some more pictures of my family doing “life” and the next phase of my ministry, TLC Squared, in light of my new found stage in life (to help educate others and better prepare them).
Next year, I only plan on posting quarterly, so I can manage my ministry and personal family life, in order to better adjust to my “new normal”. I would try to write more, but I value your time and my sanity, I and certainly don’t want to overwhelm you with my mundane struggles, unless you find it helpful and interesting. You can always follow me on Instagram and Facebook if you want to hear or see more from me!
Warning: The following might be too much information for some of you to read. But, on the other hand, it might be an explanation for why you or someone you know might be feeling or acting differently and you could help find self-help or support someone you love instead of reacting negatively toward them (from misunderstanding) and the inevitable life “change” they might be going through.
“Perimenopausal Depression”
According to the UNC School of Medicine’s Pscychiatry Department, Center for Women’s Mood Disorders, “Menopause is defined as the permanent cessation of the menses. Perimenopause is defined as the transitional period from normal menstrual periods to no periods at all. At this time menstrual periods gradually lighten and become less frequent. The transition to complete menopause may last anywhere from a few months to a few years. During the perimenopausal transition you may experience a combination of PMS and menopausal symptoms or no symptoms at all. Some normal symptoms of the perimenopause period are hot flashes, insomnia, vaginal dryness, and mood problems. Symptoms of perimenopausal depression are emotional flatness, “inability to cope,” irritability, social isolation, tearfulness, decreased energy, and failure to enjoy normal activities and relationships. Times of intense hormonal fluctuation can cause increased vulnerability to depression. Perimenopause may be a period of increased vulnerability to the onset of depression in women with no prior history of depression. Since symptoms are gradual in onset, women will not recognize symptoms as part of a reversible disorder, but rather will interpret them as a permanent change in their life.” (https://www.med.unc.edu/psych/wmd/mood-disorders/menstrually-related/ )
“Men succeed when they realize their failures are preparation for their victories.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
It feels like I’m failing more than I am succeeding. But, I love this quote above because I have come to realize that my failures have been “preparation for my victories”. It gives me hope that my perceived failures or struggles are not all “for nothing”, but they lead to victories, as I share in my book, Confessions of a Mother’s Heart. Get your copy today AND gift one to a friend for any special occasion!
I’ll be back next month! Until then, may you have a safe and memorable Thanksgiving!
Socorro Gill (Visit my ministry website at www.TLCSquared.org to see how it helps “Re-create Homes One Family at a Time”)
confessions of a mother's heart 